A devotional for dating or engaged couples
He wants you to think purity before God is not kissing or not taking off clothes or not having oral sex or not “going all the way.” He wants you to think that if you don’t cross a certain line, you’re staying pure.
The problem with this kind of thinking, however, is that Jesus says if we just lust in our heart we’ve sinned and stand condemned before God (Matt. Purity is much more about the posture of our hearts than the position of our bodies. ” question may reveal a desire to get as close to sin as possible instead of a desire to flee as our Lord calls us to (1 Cor. When we compromise sexually, we’re showing the other person we’re willing to use and abuse them to get what makes us happy. So much of their dating relationship was engulfed in the cycle of sin, shame, and start-over that they never developed a mature, battle-tested trust for each other.
In my mind, I would have been a fool not to marry Ashley.
Yet so many people questioned my composure that I began to worry whether something was wrong with me.
The day I married Ashley, I must have been asked more than 50 times whether I was nervous.
The barrage of questions surprised me because I had no reservations about giving her my heart.
Normally, premarital sexual activity is like gas on fire. There’s still passion, and there’s still intense feelings and emotions—but sex in marriage is based primarily on the hot coals of trust, devotion, and sacrifice (1 Cor. Couples who built their sexual expectations on passion provided by the forbidden fruit are often disappointed and confused when sex is different in marriage. It’s the man’s responsibility to care for his future wife by leading her toward Jesus and away from sin, darkness, and the pain of evil. Don’t let your relationship remain unexamined by other godly Christians. If you have fallen into sexual sin, today is the day to plead for mercy and turn to Christ in faith.
Passion is high, feelings are intense, and the drive to go further is fueled by the knowledge you shouldn’t (Rom. My wife and I laughed at this idea when our premarital counselor shared it with us. But almost six years and three kids later, he was right. If he sets the wrong pattern here, he’ll be digging out for years afterward—and may never regain the ground he loses apart from God’s grace. Both of you should have a godly couple or group of faithful friends who hold you accountable. May God give us mercy to pursue purity for his glory and our good.
One reason is that the forbidden fruit of lust portrays sex before marriage as something it isn’t always in marriage. And unmarried believers wait for the blessings of marriage. Renew your mind with God’s Word and keep waiting in faith. Too often ladies are forced to draw the lines and to say “no.” That’s cowardly and wrong. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One” (1 John 2:1-2). He will not, however, bless ongoing disobedience and presumption on his grace.
Tim and Jess had only been married for eight months, but the honeymoon was most certainly over. As I unpacked some of the couple’s history, I discovered he hadn’t sabotaged them on their honeymoon, nor in the early months of figuring out married life.
The sweet conversations that once marked their relationship had been replaced with constant bickering. The Devil had begun his work before they’d even made it to the altar.
My wife regularly tells dating couples that one of the reasons she trusts me is because I literally ran from compromising situations before we were married.
We weren’t perfect in our courtship, but the Lord used that season to build trust in one another. Sexual sin doesn’t need to be dagger in the heart of your courting relationship, engagement, or marriage.
Satan wants us to think we won’t take our sin to the next level. Sin is like an undercurrent in the ocean—if you play in it, you’ll be overpowered and swept away into certain destruction.