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For one thing, they need time to get used to the idea that their mother has her own needs for companionship.
They need to get comfortable with the fact that she's not going to bring someone into their lives who will do them harm or ship them off to a boarding school in Brazil.
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Long before they start to envision you as a permanent fixture, they need to observe your actions and see how you relate to them as individuals and not just attachments to their mother.
Whatever feelings you may harbor toward the father, it's crucial that you embrace neutrality in any discussions about him with the children.
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