Dating a very smart man
Post-USSR women are brought up to be passive, display themselves, and let men approach, otherwise you are not “modest”, which is what all guys want in their girlfriends (according to the local beliefs).In Diana’s words, if a Russian guy likes you, nothing can stop him.“If he hits you, that means he loves you,” quotes Diana her mother’s saying, the old-fashioned Slavic belief, which is the reason why domestic violence in Russia is still widely underreported — as well as most other forms of physical assault, making it a “norm” rather than a crime.Calling her relationship with Russian men “convoluted”, the daring New-Yorker goes on describing the peculiarities of the local dating etiquette.(We are never happy with what we are getting, are we?) Diana Bruk is a young American woman who was born in Russia and moved to the Big Apple at the age of 5 with her family.“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman wants a man who’s a gentleman at dinner and an animal in bed. This the Russian man understands,” writes the New York feminist born in the USSR.Maybe brutal love making and total disregard to his partner’s feelings (and satisfaction) is attractive to someone who is used to gentle care, but I would stick to my opinion that the majority of Russian men are not as skilled in the bedroom department as their western counterparts, who took time to learn a thing or two about female pleasure.
Her confession about dating Russian men is a must read for anyone wondering about courtship customs and rituals in the countries of the post-USSR.The downside of the powerful male taking what he wants?Bruk admits that Russian men still follow the egotistical mentality that “sex is a favor that women do for men”, which means that if a girl enjoys sex, she is looked at as a nymphomaniac.Bruk also expresses her surprise at “disintegration of male hygiene and work ethics”, citing the poor gender ratios as the reason.From the same book, rape is something that “happens”, and is accepted as a fact of life, not a social problem, she recounts. The roots are in the hunter-prey dating model, prescribing to males to push to the limit.
“Russian men are patriarchal alpha males,” insists she, declaring openly that at first it is a huge turn-on.