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Posted by / 06-Oct-2019 21:56

(When all the equipment was finally released in November, the police refused to return it to me but demanded I make a 240-mile, six-hour round trip to London and somehow lug back two hefty desktop PCs and everything else on the train.

Eventually a kindly officer from Avon & Somerset Police who was on business in London agreed to bring them back with him to his home station in Bridgwater, somewhat more conveniently located a mere two-and-a-quarter-hour round trip from Bath, assuming light traffic.) But anyway, sanity had eventually prevailed, so it came as quite a shock this week to see a guilty verdict handed down to Mark “Count Dankula” Meechan, a You Tube user from Coatbridge who in 2016 had posted a video of his girlfriend’s pet pug, which he’d taught to raise a paw in a “Hitler salute” when he said (The joke being that she thought the dog so adorably cute, it would be funny to teach it to react enthusiastically to the worst and most unarguably wrong cue phrase he could think of.

The person accusing you doesn’t even have to be the “victim”, if there is one at all. And – quite aside from how utterly terrifying that is in its own right – we presumably don’t need to point out how it applies to campaigners for Scottish independence.

In the first referendum the No camp contented itself with merely vilifying Yes supporters in the media, not actually persecuting them.

And despite some lighter moments than the two previous films...

..may also be the most violent, if judging by body count alone.

They’re not too happy – those shoes were expensive – but they don’t think you said it out of prejudice either. Even though there’s no law against not liking someone’s shoes you’re under arrest, matey.

Cancel your plans for the next few hours, because you’re going to be spending them in one of these: I can verify that that’s a pretty typical representation of a UK police cell, because I spent a day in one last summer. As difficult as it may be to believe, that two-year-old tweet to Wings cartoonist Chris Cairns about the painful user interface on Adobe Photoshop was genuinely presented to me, under caution in an interview room, by two ostensibly intelligent adult officers of the Metropolitan Police as proof that I was a dangerous sociopathic maniac prone to issuing on social media.

When it was spotted, learned people immediately began identifying all the incredibly serious problems with it. The line pretty clearly implies that some will, so it doesn’t look like anything has fundamentally changed other than the wording.

It is now an inescapable and undefendable crime, in other words, just to have someone THINK that you were THINKING something illegal when you committed an otherwise totally lawful act.

Your thoughts alone – or rather, simply your thoughts – can now be criminal in and of themselves. If you need that verified or just want to know where it ends, go and ask someone in Catalonia.

Do you remember the huge public debate about whether it should be possible for the police to arrest, charge and convict people who even those same police openly admitted hadn’t committed any crime? A police state isn’t generally regarded as being a good thing.

A nation or territory where the police can arrest and punish people who haven’t broken any actual laws, on the whim of any individual officer or an instruction from a superior authority, is quite logically called a .

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(And is now also illegal at that age in Thailand.) In particular she was in trouble for describing the male-to-female surgery that the child had (willingly) undergone as even though the procedure – removal of both testicles, known medically as “bilateral orchidectomy” – unquestionably and simply IS castration by any understood definition of that term.

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