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" The point to me is that it it's a boundary that I have and that instead of trying to understand that, he responds with it like I am somehow unreasonable.
I don't think it's unreasonable at all and the bigger red flag here isn't even the lap dances but his way of dismissing my feelings about it as unreasonable.
Although I don't mind if they visit the clubs and have even been known to go along on occasion. I define it as taking part in a sex act with someone else. And looking at other women is not cheating, nor is talking with other women.
To get that sort of experience, he would have risked losing me. Maybe it's my ego speaking, but if he went to get his jollies that way, that would have been it. What happens in a lap dance is a form of erotic entertainment. That said, I think it is understandable if a woman doesn't want to be involved with a guy who likes going to strip clubs and/or getting a lap dance.
For those of you who have not been to a strip club, not only does a lap dance consist of a naked woman gyrating in front of the guy but they often touch the guy all over and the guy can often touch/lick/fondle the girl, as well. If the grooms friends get him strippers and they are naked, grinding on him, touching, etc. I would prefer that guys didnt go to strip clubs if Im dating them but if they do, I would only want them to look and not touch and not get touched in any way because I do consider that cheating. I guess it depends on your moral standards..............
God said that to even think of someone in an inappropriate way is considered adultry, without even touching them.Why is it, some guys think, what ever they do is ok, but if the wife does it....?????? anyway, my culture would definately call this cheating...period. There's just lots of other things I'd rather be doing.That said, if my wife wanted to go to a male strip club with her girlfriends, it wouldn't bother me.
She does not have the right to demand that from partner, however. as is going to a club to get aroused, looking at porn, thinking about someone else when you are having sex.... As is sharing confidence with anyone other than your spouse.. phone sex, cyber sex, having long lunches with someone of the oppisite sex that you are attracted to at work... I define it as taking part in a sex act with someone else. And looking at other women is not cheating, nor is talking with other women. You're right--it is not intercourse but the guy does sometimes have an orgasm or is brought nearly to that point and it's definitely sexual no matter how you look at it.