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Nearly everyone who is single in their 30s has dealt with some form of heartbreak—be it ghosting, cheating, or death. The third date is not a good time to discuss how your ex cheated on you for three years and you didn’t realize it until a scandalous photo was sent to you from an anonymous email account. Yes, your past has shaped who you are, but it’s your past—not your present or future.
When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defense mechanism is to put your guard up.
When the time is right and you’ve met someone you’re into who is also into you, let your guard down. If this makes you feel anxious, tell yourself everything will be okay.
When you’re in your 30s, it’s much easier to become jaded and bitter; so many relationships have not worked out that you may start to think it’s never going to happen.
But it’s important not to let this negative thinking get the best of you.
If you think it’s never going to happen, then it won’t; you have to be positive. You'll never find your soulmate if you're a dating cynic.
Focus on having fun and getting to know the person.When I was in my mid-20s, I wanted a partner who drove a nice car and could afford to take me to a fancy restaurant.Although I still think these things are great, now that I’m in my 30s, I know that I want more in a partner.If you don’t let anyone in, then you won’t get hurt, right?However, if you don’t let anyone in, you probably won’t end up finding the one.